Rut-Roh

Day 3 without Zoloft. Ironically enough I seem to be functioning very well socially. Went out last night for a company party at an amzing Italian restaurant. If my blood sugar hadn't started getting low and my feet started hating me for wearing high heels - the night would hav been flawless.

We went to an Improv show after dinner. Very funny. A comedian called Sammy K.O. saw my sister during a break in the show and said tohis friend, "I can't believe they let kids into the show". The improv usually only lets people over 21 in, but Emily was ith our company so they let her soon-to-be 20 year age slide. She unfortunately looks 15. She is shorter and slimmer than most 20 year olds and has pink highlights in her hair. She looks as young as she does because the medication she was on for her ADD from age 7 to 18 had some adverse effects on her physical development including stunted growth. My sister has often been mistaken for my daughter at malls. She is 3 years younger than me.

Emily took the comment made by the commedian personally and started speaking defensively about always being called "a kid". It does suck that she is so often mistaken for someone younger than her actual age, but on the plus side when she is older it will begin to seem less and less like a disadvantage.

Today I wanted to get my medication, but things didn't work out. Tommorrow is day 4th without it. I'm getting anxious - and a little bit nauscious. I don't want something bad to happen.

In other news - I'm moving out at the begginging of March to an undertermined location as of now. I will also be turning 23 on Feb 27th. I also need to figure out what the heck a secretary's specific role is in Toastmasters because guess who officially heads that post now.

Alleged Origins

Gave a speech today at Toastmasters and won 1st place. Yayz!!! Here's the speech:

Intro: When Jessica was younger she wondered how she was brought into the world. She then decided to ask her mom. Apparently her mom didn't know, but instead of saying that, her mom made up a story of a stork that flew Jessica in on a bundle of blankets. Jessica still doesn't know how she got here, but she has decided to share some origin stories of her own today.

I still don’t know how I got here. I mean I know how I got here, I drove in my car - there wasn’t much traffic though so it was fine. But how did I get here? On this planet? It’s a mystery. When I was younger I also wondered how my sister Emily got here. She seemed so weird to me, she couldn’t possibly be related. That’s when I decided/imagined that she had come from another planet. I told her aliens had dropped her off on mom’s doorstep and we had taken her in as one of our own. And that is the reason my sister likes cantaloupe and cottage cheese.

It seems like every once in a while we wonder how things came to be. Unfortunately there aren’t always easy answers because we’re too lazy to look them up on Wikipedia. That’s why I decided to invent some of my own origin stories. Today I will share how pop tarts, jellyfish, surfing, and Carrows Restaurant came into creation allegedly.

First there are pop tarts. If anyone is unfamiliar with what a pop tart is, you should find one and eat it because they are delicious. Pop tarts were possibly invented around the 1930s or 1940s because that’s around the time toasters came into creation. You see one day a man, we’ll call him Gatsby because I think that was a popular name at the time, had a difficult decision to make. What should he eat for breakfast? He was torn between eating toast and having a donut. Gatsby started pacing as the controversial decision raced through his mind. After minutes of contemplation he finally came to a conclusion. After the toast popped out of the toaster, or whatever early toast-making apparatus they had back then, Gatsby was still not satisfied. Then he noticed some glaze set aside for the donut he could have made and he thought: What if I put the glaze on my toast? Thusly he proceeded to do so. At last he looked and said, "It's like toast, but also like a pastry. Toast. . . Pastry . . . Toast . . . Pastry . . .Toaster’s Pastry!!!" Several decades later the Pop Tart Corporation took the concept of the Toaster's Pastry and perfected it by adding sprinkles. And that is how pop tarts were allegedly invented.

Now onto the jellyfish. The origin of the jellyfish started surprisingly in the middle of the woods. There was a bear living in the woods that enjoyed walking around wearing a green hat and bugging the local park ranger. His name was Yogurt. Yogurt the bear also had a little bear friend named Bobo. Yogurt and Bobo’s favorite pastime was scaring visiting picnickers to steal their food. One day Yogurt and Bobo came across a man sitting by a stream eating a P.B. and J sandwich. Bobo tried to hold Yogurt back, but lost control and Yogurt leapt at the man for his sandwich. The man fell backward and the sandwich fell into the water. Yogurt and Bobo were then arrested and put in a cage to be sent to the local circus. Meanwhile the sandwich started floating further and further down the stream and towards the sea. Eventually a fish found the sandwich, but because fish don’t like bread or peanut butter, it only ate the jelly. Then something amazing happened! The fish started to transform! And thus the jellyfish came into creation.

So how did surfing come to be (or not be)? That's a perfectly legitimate question:
One day, probably around the late 60s to early 70s because that's right about the time Hippies came into existence, there was a young man living with his mother in Hawaii. It was mid-afternoon when the young man's mother called the house. "Did you iron all of your clothes?" she asked. "Yah . . ." her son Ron replied, dusting the sand off his feet. "Good because when I get home I need to iron all of my clothes," his mom said.
Dang it, thought Ron. So then he hopped in his beet up jeep and with shaggy blond hair blowing in the breeze he headed down to the beach. When he reached the shore Ron parked the car and quickly hopped out. From the beach he started frantically looking out across the waves. Whoever invented ironing sucks! He thought. At last he saw it. The ironing board he had passionately tossed into the ocean earlier that day was floating 20 feet away.
Ron began to swim out to the board. The waves were pretty heavy and rough, but at last he reached it. With one hand grabbing hold of the board, he started paddling back towards shore when a huge wave swelled up behind him and started carrying him on top of it. Ron quickly jumped on the board and started moving back and forth swiftly along the swells. After carving up some sweet waves he finally managed to reach the shore. When he got off the board and looked back at the ocean all he could say was "Tubular".
The next day Ron Jon founded his own surf shop. And that is how surfing was probably invented.

Finally there’s Carrows Restaurant. It began humbly as a food stand at an archery range. It was initially called C-Arrows because customers would occasionally get struck and the stand wanted to remind them to stay alert. Overtime the name became mispronounced. And that is how Carrows or “C-Arrows” Restaurant came to be allegedly.

So the next time you’re surfing on a board while eating a pop tart avoiding jellyfish too lazy to look things up on Wikipedia you can imagine how everything was created and maybe even invent some origin stories of your own.

Ghost Part 3

After consulting with a friend yesterday some good advice was given as to how to handle the ghost situation. It was suggested that since i fel safer with a dog in the room, I should make sure i don;t go to bed without a furry pet to defend me. It was also suggested that I keep a Bible close at hand.

Last night my cat slept with me, which is unusual because he usually sleeps with my sister (He's a slut like that). But last night her curled up in bed with me. I also kept the Bible close by. Around 3 A.M. - the usual time when crap usually starts happening, the cat decided to get up and leave me. Slut. Then when i was alone in my room, it started to get colder. At first I thought it was just that time of night again, but the room dropped a noticable amount in temperature in about a minute and I then went under the covers to get warm. It was then the disorienting feeling started up again. I noiced how alert and on edge I felt as the feeling started to take over. Then my sister pulled into the driveway and came in - the disorientation stopped. Then the room temperature went back up and I noticed my arms were no longer cold outside of the sheets.

It was weird and unsettling, but not unmanageable.

Ghosts Suck Part 2 :(

Alright, I officially think the ghost from mom's house ma have followed me to dad's house. I started noticing that it felt like someone was sitting on my bed every once in a while during the nights after i came home from mom's. The first night I was back I also experienced that weird disorienting feeling again, but hadn't again until last night.

Last night I awoke quikly for no reason. I was alert as if something had jolted me awake. To be honest my step-mom Kari was in the living room watching T.V. and I thought that's what woke me up at first. My door was shut so I couldn't hear anything, bu I assumed it was her because she watches tv. sometimes as night.

I blew it off as nothing and turned over to go back to sleep. That's when the disorienting feeling started taking over again. At first I thought it was maybe sleep overcoming me, but then I felt something I hadn't before. It felt like someone was there - not like you would sense a physical presence of a person in a specific area, but an overwhelming sense that something was there and something was wrong.

I got so freaked out, that I got up and opened the door slightly. It was then i noticed ari in the lving room. I then went back in my bed and tried going to sleep again. I started nodding off when something jolted me awake aain. I don;t know what it was and I tried to ignore it again. Then it felt lke someone was sitting on my sheets. I got up again and cracked the door more so some I could make out the light fom the living room so I felt less frightened. Eventually I fell back asleep.

There was 100% no doubt in my mind there was something there. I didn' sense a presence so much as an ominous feeling and a knowing that someone was there.

Familiarizing Yourself with Modern Tweenyboppers

How do you relate to members of a younger generation? Say you come across a 12 year old – what do you talk about? Sure you could mention silly bands, but when asked if you have any odds are you would say no and the conversation would then end. You could try talking about the weather, but the tween is probably too busy texting to notice. Today I’d like to give you some helpful tips on how to relate to the world of the Modern Tweenybopper.

You might be thinking, but Jessica, what is a tweenybopper?




The term tween usually pertains to kids –usually girls – between the ages of 6-16. Tweens tend to have obsessions over particular bands, T.V. stars, and other icons. They often carry around memorabilia of their idol with them and talk about said person or group frequently. Tweens may react abruptly by screaming and jumping up and down when an image of their icon appears or is mentioned. Because of the tween’s hypersensitivity to the media, learning about what T.V. shows and musical artists they like is a good way to better relate to them.

I have therefore compiled a list of popular tween shows for you to identify. Shows in Black are gender neutral, shows in purple are preferred by girls, and shows in blue are preferred by boys. I have also placed stars next to the shows I have seen and an emoticon face to show my opinion of that show.




Now the next time you are in a room with a tween who has control of the remote, you can mention some of the shows you know, and also be aware of which shows to avoid. Occasionally you will get lucky and a re-run of Scooby Doo will come on, but for all the other times your best bet is to watch the intro portion o each show to get an idea of what it’s about and whether or not it’s worth watching.

Now we will move on to the popular musical icons of the tween world.

First we have Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber is known for several things that can also be good identifiers to help you recognize him. Bieber has a tendency to flip his hair a lot – look for that. He also makes gestures with his hands to make himself appear more gangster. As far as his music is concerned – it is tolerable to listen too, but should never be mentioned. It’s hard to maintain social legitimacy when you listen to a musical artist with song titles like “Baby” and “Eenie Meanie”. It should also be noted that fans of Bieber are known as “Beliebers” and Justin is currently nominated for a Grammy for Best New Artist because the Grammys have recently decided to lower their standards.




Next we have the Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers are a difficult challenge for people who are unfamiliar with them. The difficulty lies in trying to differentiate between them and remember their names. I have therefore come up with a way to make telling them apart much easier. First there’s Nick. Nick is the youngest Jonas brother and he has curly hair. Joe is the middle Jonas Brother and has strait hair and looks like he was adopted. Lastly there’s Kevin. Kevin is the oldest Jonas brother and he has curly hair, but it’s not as curly as Nick’s. That is how you differentiate between the Jonas Brothers. It is important to do so, because if you mess up in front of a tween you will be shunned from their society.




Next we have the famed icon Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana is a character on the Disney show Hannah Montana. The premise of the show is centered around a girl named Miley who is played by Miley Cyrus. Miley’s character has a split personality named Hannah Montana who likes to wear a blonde wig and sing in front of people.




Now you may be thinking, but Jessica, how do I know the difference between Miley and Hannah? It’s simple - like the Jonas Brothers differentiating between the two comes down to hair. Hannah is blond, Miley is brunette.




The show Hannah Montana has officially ended, though it still plays on Disney. Miley Cyrus has now officially branched out and started singing as herself. But Jessica, you may ask, is it still o.k. for my kids to listen and watch Miley Cyrus even though she is no longer affiliated with Disney? Good question.




Since gaining her independency from Disney Miley Cyrus has changed slightly in terms of style, aesthetic, attitude, and habits. Miley Cyrus is now playing music that would be popular in dance clubs that young adults would be found in. If you do not think your son or daughter should be going to clubs or listening to club music, Miley’s songs are probably not appropriate.




Lastly I will discuss Taylor Swift. Swift is known for her blond curly hair and acoustic guitar/ country style music. Swift’s style is consistently clean and corky. She is noted for having one 7 AMAs, 5 CMA awards, and 4 Grammys. She has also put out 3 successful albums and is 21 years old this year. Taylor will doubtless be around for years, writing her own songs, and inspiring young tweenyboppers everywhere to be themselves and have fun.

I hope you found this helpful and now the next time you talk to a tween you may actually have something to talk about.

Correction Update

Wells, had a family meeting last night. Apparently dad had a breakdown when Kari had a breakdown and thought it was best we leave the house because he was out of sorts. Kari was having insecurity issues because she quit her job before officially being signed into her new one and thought things might not work out. That I can sympathize for. On the other hand, she also doesn't like me being around the house while she is at home working so I now unnofficially have to find something to do that requires me to leave the house from 9-5 while simultaneosly trying to find a job. To be honest I'm sik of this crap and am ready to move out and on with my life. I don;t like being yo-yo'd around.

In other news, I went shopping at Ross today which is my new favorite store because I can get things that are good quiality AND really inexpensive. I also got some new shoes and besides a lack of slacks am ready for the business world.

Something else that happened today was my sister Emily tlling me she smelt our grandmother's perfume by her room. I had smelt her perfume a couple months earlier in the hallway to Emily's room. Our grandmother passed away seveal years ago, but we are currently living in her old house. The perfume is definetely hers. Today my sister smelled it for the first time. She said the air felt thick, but there was o breeze or anything, so the sent couldn't have come from anywhere but that spot. Maye grandma is just letting us know she's here and still with us in some way. Honestly though, I preferred the concept that she had moved on and was in a better place.

Ghosts suck

Well last time I visited mom's house nothing happened. That was in December. This time I was really frightened. Nothing happened Monday night. Then Tuesday night s$@t went down.

I woke up at 3:0 a.m. because the computer at the desk had been rebooted. The only way for that to have occured is if someone moved the mouse. They keep the computer on at my mom's house, but the screen off. When I turned the screen on it was at the start up desktop page. Someone moed the mouse. When the computer started making loud noises for startng up, the heater also kicked in and made loud noise -which was just a coincidence but it didn't make the situtaion any better. Then I tried turning over to go bac to sleep and I felt someone sit on the covers of the edge of my bed. I turned ver and there was something weighing down the sheets, but nothing was there. The bed itself didn't go down, but the sheets did.

I then turned towards the doorway so that if anything sat on the sheet I could make it out distinctly. That' when I started feeling disoriented. i was wide awake, just laying there when this dizzying feeling came over me. It's the feeling you get 5-10mintues after taking a sleeping pill. Your body feels like it's about to fall asleep, but you're still awake. I didn't understand what was happening, but then I remebered hearing that ghosts will draw energy from people nd they will feel tired, heavy, and drained during it. Tat's when I got so frightened by the experience, that I actually got out of bed, went into the kitechen, and turned the light on. I didn't see or hear anything, so that's when i got back in bed -but I didn't exactly go back to sleep.

Wednesday night I was relieved to have a sleep over at my friends house away from the ghost. When I came back to spend Thursday -my last night- at mom's house I didn't think anything would happen.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning. It was still dark, but of course I had the dim lamp light on. I felt someone laying on the sheets at the dge of my bed again, so I turned around to face the edge of the bed and the doorway. I was tired, but not frightened. My mind actually started to wonder and I began thinking of Ellen Degeneres and how funny she is. That's when the dizzy feeling startedto creep in. It started in my lower body, but soon was over me and in my head. I felt week and disoriented. I tried to shake it off my moving and it did go away for 10 minutes. My mind started to wonder again, but as then interrupted by the disorientation agin. I decided to fight back somewhat. I tried to think mentally, "This is mine. This is my energy and my body." I found I was able to make the feeling go away several times, but only for a few moments. That's when I heard a growl. It sounded almost like a motorcycle revving up, but it was human and angry. I froze, not knowi what I just heard. I knew it was a growl and just layed there, not sure whether or not to get up. Then I heard a car in the distance drive by about 5 minutes later. After it passed I kept hearing this deep tone go off and on, like a sound tha was uilding, but then went away. I didn't know what it was.

At 6am my mom gt up to use the bathroom. I was thankful someone was awake, so I got up, turned the kitchen light on, and waited for my mom to come out. When she did she asked me why I was awake and I told her I needed to us the restroom. She then went back to her room. The previous Wednesday morning I had told mom about the ghost experiences. At first she didn't seem to believe me, then I found out she exagerrated everything I said and told her friend. Mom told me if anything with the ghst happened again I should yell at it and tell it to go away.

I don't want to engage the ghost. I think talking to it will onyl encourage it to talk to me. I don't like this ghost. I think it has tried draining energy from me before, but now I officially realize what it was trying to do. After the growl, I now think this ghost has malintentions towards me.

Welcome to 2011

Well this is what happens when I don't blog regularly. I have 4 things to blog about now. Firstly, crap went down earlier this week -last Sunday to be exact. I thusly dedicate this blog to most everything that fell therefrom.

Last Sunday morning my step-mom announced she had officially quit her old job and got promoted to a new one at a different company. She seemed happy in the text she sent. Fast forward to 3:00 P.M. My dad came down stairs to announce to my sister and I that our step-mom had just had a break down and was crying hysterically. She said she wanted my sister and I out of the house from 9am-4pm for the next 2 weeks while she was around waiting to start her new job. My sister and I were upset that we were told so abruptly to leave the house during the day, especially since we had nowhere to go. That's when da suggested we go to Oakdale for the week.

I didn't know if my mom would let us come over on such short notice, but then she said yes without asking any questions. So it was settled that the next morning Em and I would leave for our mom's house for the week. We were both pissed off at our step-mom and I said,"It's interesting that she complains about our mom so much and what a bad mom our mom is. At least our mom never made us feel like we ewre unwanted or unwelcome in our own home."

It was a relief when we reached Oakdale. My sister went to go visit with friends for the first couple days and evenings. I mostly stayed close to home and started contacting my friends to see what they were up to. There was some conflict between my mom and my sister because Em didn't want to talk to mom about the whole step-mom situation. I on the other hand had lots to say.

It feels like my trust keeps getting betrayed. I said it before we left, Our step-mom is emotionally bipolar. She will take us shopping and act sweet one minute, but when she's feeling selfish or dealing with her own pesonal crap she suddenly becomes a dictator and starts bossing people around. She told dad the week before this recent catastrophe, that when I move out she is moving my dad's desk out of the living room and into the downsairs den so he can play his computer games down there and she can have the living room all to her self.

Come Tuesday morning I got a text saying the whole thing wsa a misunderstanding. Our step-mom just wanted us out of the house a couple times during the day and we could go home now. He also said she wanted to take us shopping over the weekend.

If she really hadn't fraeked out and wanted us gone, why didn't she tell us that on Monday. I got a text from her saying she didn't think we were leaving on Monday, ut it was fine and we would discuss things when we got home.

Well over the week I visited with my friend Chelsie, which was fun. We had a sleepover and watched Dispicable Me. I also got to see my grandma and talked to my step-sister Sarah who just turned 23! Yah she's ancient.

I also applied for a job I'm very hopeful about -we'll see how things go.

There was some stuff that happened involving the ghost, but I'll save it for my next blog. Right now I'm home, I'm tired from the drive, and I'm pissed off at my step-mom.