I'm Still Alive

So, I pretty much freaked out over nothing. The weekend went pretty well, all things considered. I got to see old friends and watch Pirates of the Carribean 3 again. There was some awkwardness and I knwe the inevitable subject wuold eventually come up. As soon as I arrived, in fact, mom said she wanted me to walk out side with her. I said no, I was tired and wanted to sit for a few minutes, which was true. Then on the night before I left, when I was ready to go to sleep, mom came into my room and said, come here I want to talk with yuo a minute. I thought, "Oh crap. Here it comes. I knew this was too good to be true." I had tried to avoid this conversation all weekend but now it was finally here. Mom started out, "Has this been a good weekend for you? Have I done anything to make you upset?" I thought "Oh, no. This won't be good . . ." So, long story short we talked for a half hour. I told mom i didn't think she had a drinking problem, I was just worried about Em. Mom told me Em overreacted when she yelled at her. It's been about 5 days since it happened, so I don't really think about it as much now. Em's here. We're doing good. Watching TV. Hanging out. Em's coming to my Art History class today. That will be interesting.

I'm Scared

I think I may die pretty soon, so if my body goes missing maybe someone will read tis and know why . . .
So I messed up BIG TIME. It is one of those errors where as soon as it happens the "Mistake" Radar starts going off right away in your head. "Mistake!" Mistake!"Mistake!" Of course after the accident happens there's no erasing it.
The fact is this problem never should have arisen. Before I go on anymo I should probably explain what happened. . . .

It all started a couple of weeks ago. My dad was talking to Em and I. He asked Em out of the blue whether she thought our mom needed to go to rehab or get some sort of help for he alchol problem. I should probably stop writing right now. Maybe writing this will cause another mistake to happen. Oh wel . . .
Anyways, so my dad suggested mom may need assistance with her drinking. First thought that came to my mind was "NOW you want to help her with her alchohol problem? NOW! After all the years Em and I were stuc living with her and dealing with the almost nightly problem of her and her drinking! NOW. When she's now fired from her job and relaxing at home not drinking as much as she used to. NOW!!!! Where was this suggestion 4 years ago when we were stuck dealing with this crap? When we were face to face with the demon of alcoholism?

I digress . . . so after he mentioned it Em told dad her problem wasn't that bad anymore and he didn't need to worry about it.
A while later, I had been emailing Em pretty much everyday. Whenever I read her emails they always mentioned at some point tha mom was around and she was either drunk or angry. After about a week of this, I was stupid and made a fatal mistake that I should have forseen and avoided. Stupid me! Even as I was typing the notion popped into my head that "hey, this may be a bad idea . . ." But did I listen? Nooooooooo . . . .
So I went ahead and sent Em an email asking her whether or not she thought mom's alcohol problem had really subsided. I also asked if she thought mom needed to go to rehab or something.
Dumb, dumb, and more dumb, . . . but it got worse.
I then emailed Em saying that I thought that when she and Sarah move out of the house and are away from mom that t would be good if we got together then and suggested rehab. That way the intervention would not end in our imidiate deaths. We could say our peace and walk away from the situation. Leave it up to mom to decide.
Of course Em had not been responding to these emails as she normally did. I suspected something might be up, but I ignored my worrying. Then Em sent me emails asking "What?" "What are you saying?"
At that moment I really started to worry. I was afraid maybemom was there and she had read my emails. Then at 8:00 I emailed Em back and never heard from her again. She came to dad's that weekend. shortly after arriving, she told me what happened . . .
Mom had walked in when I was sending Em the emails. Em tried to delete them, but my mom made her open them up and show them to her. Mom got angry and demanded Em ask me what i meant by that. Luckily by the time I replied Em was offline. ut I knew after Em told me that that I was in trouble. Now, almost a week after the incident, I fear for my life. Mom came on Sunday to pick Em up. Luckily Chelsie was there to prevent mom from talking about unpleasant things in her presence. The subject was never brought up, though mom said she left me a message on my cell phone and I should hear it and call her sometime . . .
So guess what I did today? About 10 minutes ago I listened to said cell phone message. Now I'm scared I'm going to die. The message said in mom's angry and desisive tone, "Call meback, when you're alone and we can talk in private . . ." I could almost hear her biting down and talking through her clenched teeth. Man, if the Grim Reaper could talk he wouldn't be half as frighteneing as my mom when she's angry. My mom could scare a lion. She has thse cold, blue eyes that can see right through you and peirce your heart. I think the worst part about this whole thing, besides my imminant death, is the fact that I have to see her this weekend! On Friday I'm driving down to Oakdale and staying there 3 days!!! It was already pre-arranged and there's no escaping my fate. I just know she'll find away to get me alone five minutes so she can rip my heart to shreds . . .
As for the cell phone message, what should I do? Should I call her back? Dong so would probably lead to a death by terrifying phone call for me. Not calling her back might lead to more ackwardness and an even worse death for me. Decisions, decisions . . .
I know what I would have said to her too. I'm not ashamed of what I wrote. It's truth that my mom drinks. It's true that hen she's drunk she often loses control and hurts those around her. It's true that she always seems angry and yells at people when they've done little worng. She over reacts and she is an alcohol it. 5 minutes alone with her and anyone wld realize this. But I don't hate her. I use to hate her for it. Now I've been away from her too long. I haven't experienced that level of hate in a while. all i have is faded memories of the way she use to act. I'm willing to put the past behind me. But I worry about my younger sister Em who is still at mom's house and still has to deal with her behavior. It's not fair to Em. It wasn't fair to me. I think it's time someone spoke up and told mom face to face that she has a problem and should get some help. I guess I'll find out this weekend if that person will be me. I just hope she doesn't kill me before I say my peace. R.I.P.

A Haunting : terror

Darn it. My computer was retarded. Deleted all i had written before. Anyways, Mike and Lisa are a couple. They live in new York. They decided to buy a fixer-upper. It's a big house, but sort of grungy. Lisa stays at home alone while Mike goes to work. Lisa in room painting. Starts to apply paint when she hears someone behind her. she turns but sees nothing there. Calls Mike. She's worried. Ends call. Lisa is overcome by emotional sadness. She starts to cry for no reason. Over the passing weeks Lisa gets more depressed. Mike suggests she see a doctor, but she yells at him. Later, Mike comes home from work and sees his mail scattered all over the floor. Asks Lisa who is sleeping on the couch if she messed it up, and she yells at him. That night in bed, Mike feels something pressing his leg down. Then it dissapears. Mike now really afraid. Mike in office later during night. Sees a shadow in the corner of his eye pass in doorway. Looks around, but no one is there. Next day. Lisa in bathroom brushing her teeth. Sees something in bathtub. Slowly walks away from the bathroom, afraid. That night, Mike suggests they move out. Lisa yells at him for wanting to leave. Nike snaps and yells back at her. he doesn't know why he's angry though. A week later, Lisa moves out. Now Mike is all alone in the house. Oh crap. Mike sets up video cameras in house, but when he watches the tapes he sees nothing. He continously comes home and sees his mail thrown around. Not getting much sleep. Lying on couch he hears multiple voices arguing.They are arguing over who gets to control him. He yells" What do you want?!", and all goes quiet. Mike considers selling the house. That night Mike watches cartoons on tv. Turns off TV. A boy suddenly appears in front of him, glaring back. Mike turns the cartoons back on. Child dissapears. Mike goes on other room. Tries to remain calm. Suddenly Tv turns off. Mike scared. he starts sleeping at his office. Mike meets up with his friend Sarah. She is worried about him. He tells her he needs help painting the house. He doesn't tell her about the ghosts. Sarah paints at Mikes house during the day while Mike is at work. Sarah goes to paint a wall. A shadow passes behind her. Scary. SarahSrah feels overwhelmed with sorrow. She wants to cry. Mike calls and asks her if she's o.k. She says she feels sick. Ends call. Goes into another room and puts plastic on ground. Hears something behind her. Goes into bathroom. Sees nothing. She then hears someone walking on the plastic, but sees no one. Later, Mike talks to Sarah about what happened. Sarah upset. She wants answers. They call ghost hunters. No not The Ghost Hunters. The paranormal team set up cameras, EVPs, and cameras. The Psychic and Sarah start asking the ghosts questions on the EVPs. Mike goes to work. Camera guy 1 walks to van. Hears something. Sees a guy by the house. The guy runs off and dissapears. Meanwhile, the psychic asks the ghost if he is a child or an adult. The bed behind her moves and the imprints of a toddler appear on it. Sarah leaves the room. Psychic sees a little boy. She then hears noises by a door. The knob shakes. Psychic is afraid to open it. She walks downstairs and sees the figure of a man. She yells at him, "who are you", but the figure leaves the room. The psychic gets scared. Fears someone will push her down the stairs. The camera guy says he saw the same guy the psychic did. Team leaves and analyses everything. Photo shows a photo of an angry man. The EvP recoreded some words. The ghost wants to be let out! When asked if the ghost was sorry for scaring them, the ghost responded with an agry, growling "No!" The recordings were then sent to Mike who was in the house.Mike then hears a voice behind him saying, "this is mine". Mike decides to leave. He's pushed into the walls several times. He then runs out of the house and leaves. Puts house up forsale. People buy it.The end.