A Defining Memory

Right now I'm supposed to be writing an english essay about memory. I decided the best way to introduce my essay would be to open with a memory of my own that was significant and revealed something about myself I did not realize. Unfortuantely I'm having problems picking that specific memory. Severl defining memories come to mind, but they deal with issues and events I'd rather not bring up in my essay. I can't seem to think of a memory that summs me up or shows who I am. It's like memory block or something. And it's not like I can consult anybody on the subject. Hey Jen, can you think of a memory from my past that defines me? Yah, . . . problemo. Errrrg, stupid memories, why won't you work?!!! There there every other time of the day when I need them, or don't need them. Let's see a defining memory . . . this isn't helping me. Now I'm writing and not thinking about my memories. Let's see an event that affects me deeply that shows who i am as a preson or has had some geat affect on me over the years . . . nope still not coming. Hang on, I need to reflect . . . maybe yoga will help. How do you do yoga? That's stupid, never mind. I just need to find my center or quiet spot. Alllmmmm, alllmmmm, . . . zzzzennnessssss . . . perhaps the best way to think about a defining moment from my past is to reflect on an aspect of myself now and see if any memories come up explaining why I act a certain way. Alright I think I found a good memory. I always bite my nails. I always have and I probably always will. i remember one time when i was about ten, my mom tried to bribe me from biting my nails. She said, "If you stop biting your nails for a week I'll give you this". The "this" was a book that I really wanted, so I decided to stop biting my nails. A couple days went by and soon i startde biting them again. I didn't do it on purpose, i would be sitting in class taking notes and suddenly I would just start biting my nails. By the time I noticed what I was doing it was too late. A couple a week went by and my mother showed me the book again, just to reafirm her bribe, and said, "You can't have this until you stop chewing your nails." So once again I stopped biting them for a few days, and then I wouls forget the book and start biting. After a month my mother came to me and said, "Fine, I'll give you the book because I don't want it, but you better stop biting your nails o.k.?" I still bite my nails to this day. I find that I tend to do this most often when I'm watching an intense movie and I don't know what will happen next, or when I'm really nervous and stressed out. I think the biting is just a way for me to releave the tension I feel inside or subconsciously show it on my outside. Well anyway, that's my memory. Hope the essay goes well . . .


~Jessica